I have been married for over 2 years now but have not been able to have sexual intercourse with my wife as she is too scared to go through with penetration and I have not wanted to force her to do so. We both want to have a baby and need to get over this obstacle. Can you please advise us in this regard?
Relax, and tell your wife also to relax. It is very important to be both mentally and physically relaxed to perform the act of copulation. I also suggest that you engage in a lot of foreplay, because this would make the actual act more pleasurable. If your wife is very apprehensive, you could seek the help of a counselor to talk to her. You could also meet a doctor if none of these solutions help you.
My major problem is that my husband is not at all interested in having sex. One reason may be I am overweight. I feel absolutely neglected. How can I enhance our sex life?
You will need to provide a few additional details about yourself and your married before we can provide a more accurate solution to you. Please reply with details about how long you have been married, how long has it been since you noticed this problem, how old both of you are, whether you have any children, etc.
Do understand that the basic factor that decides a person’s sex appeal is their self-confidence or self-esteem. If you feel that you are unattractive because you are overweight, it is likely that other people will also start perceiving you in this way.
You will need to focus on getting comfortable with who you are and how you look so that you can define what you will need to change about yourself. If you are overweight, there are several ways in which you can lose weight. Primarily, diet control would help you start the process. You should focus on increasing the protein content of your diet as well as reducing the carbohydrate content, and fat should be eliminated from the diet to the maximum extent possible.
Secondly, you will need to start some form of exercise. This may be aerobics, yoga, or dance classes. Physical activity will make you feel good about yourself and any change in your routine behavior will also induce your husband to take an interest in you.
Also remember that it is essential to keep up intake of vitamins and other micronutrients while you are on the diet. For this, you can start taking oral supplements or have a health drink.
Enhancing your sexual life will need imaginative changes, such as changing the way sexual activity is initiated, changing location, going for a trip with your husband, spending more time in foreplay, etc. However, all this will need to be done based on your partner’s preferences as well.
My husband has lost interest in sex. He admits that he never felt like having sex. He does not masturbate too. Please help.
Loss of sex drive could be due to various reasons including hormonal imbalance, nervous disorders, nutritional deficiency, fatigue, endocrine disorders, poor self-esteem, relationship issues, etc. Enhancing your sexual life will need imaginative changes, such as changing the way sexual activity is initiated, changing location, going for a trip with your husband, spending more time in foreplay, etc. However, all this will need to be done based on your partner’s preferences as well.
Try to create a healthy atmosphere at home. Focus on the small things that you both have always loved, like dining in restaurants, going for a long drive, etc. All these would bring you two together, mentally and emotionally, and this would automatically make him want you. Try to build a more emotional attachment between you two, built more on trust, respect, care and love, before seeking the joy of sex. Try finding out if anything is troubling him, related to his work or career. Without attending to reasons, never force him to indulge in the act as it may even make him more frustrated and spoilt the relationship.
We would suggest both of you to see a sex therapist for advice. Remember, low sexual desire is the most common sexual complaint amongst the couples. With little help and guidance, we are sure you will come through it.