Communicating with your Child

Why communication is important? Communication between parent and child is not alwayseasy, and is perhaps one of the toughest challenges that parents have to face. Itis important to establish and maintain good communication with your child. Communicationis a two-way bridge that connects you and your child. It is essential in helpingyour child develop self-esteem and confidence. Healthy communication can make thetough parts of parenting, such as disciplining your child, much easier and effective.Good communication in the early years helps avoid behavioral issues in the future.
Communicating with your child Healthy communication helps your child learn to express her feelings. It helps you to understand your child’s needs and strengthen the parent–child relationship. Here are a few tips to open the lines of communication with your child:

Be available: Spend time with your child to make herfeel that you are availableto her. It helps your child feel cared forand loved. Give your undivided attentionto listen and to understand herfeelings. Even spending 10 min a day talking toyour child can make abig difference in forming good communication habits. Be a good listener: Listen to your child with respect. It will help develop a bond of trust between you and your child. Ask your child about her ideas and feelings on a subject. Also, try to understand what exactly she is trying to say.Avoid interrupting with your own advice as your child unfolds the problem or story to let her express a point of view fully. Being a good listener does not mean that you have to agree with what she is saying.It helps your child calm down, so later she can listen to you.
Be empathetic: This means tuning into your child and letting her know that you understand her feelings. Showing empathy can reduce the frustration and anxiety your child feels about a matter. Encourage her to express her feelings. Acknowledging her feelings communicates acceptance and understanding. Be sure not to pass any judgmental remarks.
Be a role model: Children learn more from what you dorather than what you say. Your child learns by observing the way youpresent yourself and react to her. It is obvious that she copies yourway of communication. So, it is important that you use words and tonesin the same way that you want your child to use. For example, if you usestrong words to describe your feelings instead of screaming or namecalling, your children will learn the same.

More tips to build healthy communication Some do's Praise your child and let her know what you like about her. Pay attention to your child’s body language and help her clarify thoughts, feelings and ideas. Calmly communicate your feelings. Give your child a chance to respond. Try to know your child’s needs. Maintain eye contact when you talk to your child. Help your child in distinguishing between thoughts and action. Assist her in understanding what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable. For example, explain to her that it is okay to feel angry with someone, but not okay to physically hurt someone. Assist your child in solving a problem. Be truthful and honest. Practice what you preach. If you are too busy with your work and schedules to focus on communicating with your child, take advantage of the time spent while traveling in the car, walking to or from school, etc. Use “I” statements to tell your child what upsets you. For example, saying “I felt worried when I could not find you” is better than saying in an angry tone “Where were you?” Use “you” statements to point out good behavior. For example, use the phrase “You have done a good job”. Label your child’s behavior and not your child. When she upsets you, let her know that you are upset with her behavior, not herself. For example, tell her that you are upset because of her behavior instead of calling her a bad child. Seek professional help if you feel that you are not able to communicate with your child.
Some don’ts Never scream or threaten. Do not lie to your child. Do not use silence to express strong feelings as your child is not likely to understand you. Never humiliate or embarrass your child in public or in front of her siblings or classmates. Do not name call your child. Use phrase like “I do not like the way you behave” rather than “you are a bad child”. Do not overload your child by talking too much. Do not disregard your child’s feelings with statements such as, “It is silly to feel that way” or “Why are you so disappointed?”

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