Caring for your pregnant wife

The thrill and joy of would-be parents is also accompanied with apprehensions and questions of how the entire journey is going to be and how it should be handled ideally. You, as a would-be father, may wonder how to properly take care of your pregnant wife. Funny as this may see, but the expectant mum is the “star” of the event, and you may feel sidelined and your eagerness to help out may not be well appreciated. So, get involved in the process rather than being left out by getting prepared and enjoy the would-be fatherhood ride with your wife in the driver’s seat this time!

There are certain prerequisites for becoming a considerate and helpful would-be father. The first one is to get yourself well-acquainted with the changes your wife is undergoing and understand her emotional, nutritional and other needs. The second one is to accomplish all the practical tasks that are part of your responsibility.

Keep yourself well-informed
As pregnancy in a woman proceeds, innumerable changes take place in her body, some of which are clearly apparent while some are not. Hormonal changes, feelings of exhaustion and Morning sickness are commonly observed during the first Trimester. These can range from being mild to severe in different women. The surge in hormones influences your wife’s moods and emotions, which may no longer remain predictable and may cause her to be irritable and depressed at times.

At times, you may be at a complete loss to understand her needs if you don’t keep well-informed. For example, some odors may now be nauseating to her, while sometimes, your wife may crave for an unusual foodstuff or things (this is known as pica).
Become acquainted with the dynamics of pregnancy; this will help you glean the needs of your expecting partner. You may find information from books, friends and the Internet quite useful. Talking to your wife’s doctor may also help. Get detailed access to the physiological changes and other aspects of pregnancy in our section 'During pregnancy'.

Lend a helping hand
The best idea to take care of your pregnant wife is to lend her a helping hand whenever she needs one. Don’t wait for her to ask you to do so. You may bring her the folic acid, calcium and iron supplements; stock healthy food stuffs and items to combat morning sickness, help her with the dishes, cleaning and basic household chores. Remember that your wife may not be able to do the amount of work that she was used to doing earlier.

Avoid alcohol and smoking
Avoid consuming alcohol, tobacco and smoking, especially in front of your wife. If your wife also smokes or drinks alcohol, encourage her to discontinue because it is detrimental to the baby’s health.

Communicate
Listen, talk and keep the conversation flowing. Just like you, your wife might also be apprehensive and looking for answers to many questions. You can get to know about them when you listen to her. Being a good listener is the first step in taking care of your wife’s emotional needs. When you respond promptly and consistently, your wife feels that she is not alone in her pregnancy and this helps her to shed off a lot of stress.

Bust your myths on intimate relations during pregnancy
You might be worried that having sex during pregnancy may hurt your wife or the baby. But this is hardly true. Only in certain situations, it’s not a good idea to have sex with your wife during pregnancy. By sharing your thoughts with your partner, you may be surprised to find out that your wife’s interest in sex may also gone up at times. Read our article on Sex during pregnancy to know more.

Do activities together
Your wife must be preparing at her end by planning to buy stuff required for newborn. Of course, you will have to shell out the cash, but buying for a little-one can spark your Splurge in a bit with your spouse as you head for some preparation before the arrival of your little wonder. It certainly also serves as a good bonding time for both of you. Maternity clothes, baby cribs, stroller, toys, crib sheets, baby blankets, well it all can be an endless sum but is worth the effort! Isn’t it?

Accompany your partner for a walk as it is a great stress buster during pregnancy. Remember to walk at her pace. This time will also allow the two of you to catch up on important discussions regarding parenting and health. To know about the exercises that are safe in pregnancy, read Exercise in pregnancy.

Accompany your wife during her Prenatal check-ups
Going for the Prenatal visits with your spouse can help you track the progress of your growing baby, besides providing her with the much needed concern and assurance. The first antenatal visit at the end of the first trimester; 1-3 months would give you the opportunity to hear your baby’s heartbeat. While somewhere in the coming weeks (second trimester; 4-6 months), an Ultrasound scan will let you have a snapshot of your baby’s body parts (head, arms, hands, legs and feet) that have become more distinct. The antenatal visits as scheduled by your wife’s obstetrician will shed light on the diagnostic tests that are crucial for detecting abnormalities in your baby. Make sure you are present with your wife during most of these visits.

When you accompany her during the last Trimester (7-9 months) discuss with her doctor about the ways in which you will be required at time of labor and birth.

Cheer up your wife by complimenting her
As your wife treads through the second Trimester with a growing baby, she begins to pile up some pounds and develops a bump in her belly. Your wife begins to feel that she no longer looks beautiful and fears that her husband might lose interest in her. Remember that this happens to all women. There’s nothing better than complimenting her voluptuousness at any given opportunity, even if she does not look her best. This increases her confidence greatly and eases her growing consciousnesses of her body shape, making her feel loved and adored by you.

Massaging to relax her growing body
As your wife steps in the third trimester, her complaints seem to sway to an aching back, painful cramps in the leg, Edema in the feet and pain in the pubis (due to baby’s head descending into the pelvic cavity). At this point, physical discomfort of carrying a full-grown baby coupled with the fear hovering about labor and birth can drain your spouse both physically and emotionally. You can help your wife by giving her a mild foot, leg or body massage.

Be well prepared for labor time
It is not possible to foretell how events will shape up during the final moment, but you need to be perfectly prepared for the time. Make sure you have a safe vehicle to take your wife to the hospital or nursing home when required and to get the two of you and the new baby back home. Inform your boss at office a few days in advance that you may need to take leave. Keep phone numbers of your wife’s OB/GYN and hospital handy. Make sure you have saved enough money to meet all financial needs of delivery and post-partum care. Pack in all essentials that will be required during the time of delivery, including your wife’s clinical reports, in a bag and carry it when you leave for the hospital. This would consist of basic articles of self care (toothbrush, toothpaste, hair brush, body lotion); slippers, cotton wrap-up cloth / blanket for the baby as well as going-home clothes for her and for her mum. Some hospital norms do permit a father-to be in the delivery room, see if you could help with some foot rubs or back rubs to your partner writhing in pain. Well, this gesture would vary from person to person. When given an opportunity, some men would seek pride even in getting to snip the Umbilical Cord whilst others refrain from being present at the actual sight.

When labor time finally arrives, stay calm. On an average, labor usually lasts for 12-24 hrs and your wife may be required to get admitted to the hospital even before she goes into labor.

So, whatever the case, just make sure you are there! The joyride of pregnancy can be an amalgam of varied experiences for you and your partner. And finally, at the birth of your baby and while holding her in your arms, will you realize that this has been the most rewarding of all your efforts!